UNA PASSIONE.........MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: novembre 2012

I was there

Brazil 2012

It is extremely hard for me to explain how I feel today and how I was feeling during “my last race”.

Racing is a state of mind and I’m trying to be still in it. But to speak about racing you need a race or at least a racer and when for 21 years you follow “THE RACER” the day after his last GP you realize you can keep on following F1, but your heart won’t be able to be thudding again. Those feelings that only a fighter that has never backed down can give you won’t came back anymore. I’ll keep them in my heart and they be my reason to live.

So sorry if I’ll write more about my feelings than about the race, but, be sure, I was there, my heart was there and if I’ve to synthesize the Brazilian GP 2012 I could only do writing “STAND UP FOR THE CAMPION” and I don’t mean the winner of the world championship.

I’ve left my home on Wednesday and twenty hours later, on Thursday, I’ve reached Sao Paulo. I’ve spent my first day in Brazil just collecting my tickets at Hotel Transamerica and having dinner.

My very first day was on Friday. At 7:30 in the morning I was already at Interlagos. Why two and a half hours earlier? Simply to … make everything perfect to celebrate as much as I could the driver of F1 of all times.

I’ve begun fixing my banner in my stand, that, as usual, was in front of Schumi’s garage. Security wasn’t too happy for the banners I have announced but they had to accept them, as they’ve realized I’d have fighted until my death to protect them. So I fix my “NEVER GIVE UP, MICHAEL, YOUR FRIENDS WON’T LET YOU DO”, that has been realized by a friend of mine and that I’ve brought with me to every race this year. Some meters left to mine they fix a German Flag, then my Russian friends arrive with their banner: “thank you for these three years” (where thank you is written in eight different languages). My Italian friend was also next to me and she fixed her “it was magic having you back”.

My stand, such as the others I’ve to say (in stand A there’s a huge “Michael we love you”) is full of banners reading which you can’t imagine we’re not speaking about the leader of the championship or about the driver that contends it to him, but simply about “THE LEGEND” or as he prefers “the FIGHTER who never backed down”.

FP1 is ready to begin.

You sure will remember my memories of Abu Dhabi (the whole autograph session next to Michael’s table). You won’t remember, as I haven’t written about, that a few days later I’ve met Michael again for the Nazionale Piloti football match and the gala dinner, talking with him and taking pictures together.

After Abu Dhabi and Padova how could I feel so excited for a race, that is even the last race? I wasn’t excited, I was sad, really very sad. I turned my i-phone on and I’ve seen a picture of my drivers helmet … there was something new. Michael has wanted on it “Life is about passions. Thank you for sharing mine”. I breathe deeply, trying not to cry. I’m mad, I know, but for a good reason: Michael is really the most special person in the world. We’ve to thank him and he thanks? Well, as I’ve written in my t-shirt (I was obviously wearing it) I’m really proud to be a Schumacher fan.

Now free practice really begins. It’s ten o’ clock and after taking my usual pictures of Michael getting into his WO3 I turn on my Fan Vision (the small TV from which I follow the race even from Schumi’s car) and I watch.

Hamilton is the fasted followed by the two Red Bull driven by Vettel and Webber, then Button, Alonso. Schumi is eleventh.

We stop for two and a half hours and it’s two o’clock. FP2 is on. The first three are the same as FP1: Hamilton is the fasted followed by the two Red Bull driven by Vettel and Webber, then Massa and Alonso followed by SCHUMI … Sixth …I can be very happy, but I feel so sad … I keep on trying stopping my watch and the time keeps on running: my first day is out and I’ve only two days left.

And Saturday arrives. I join the track even earlier than the day before, at 7. I’m the first behind the gates and I can easily fix my banner . A few moments later I can see a different banner I’ve not seen on Friday. It says “Thank you Michael Sc” from Argentina. Yes, now I’m sure. Italy, Russia, Argentina, Chile, Brazil, Philippine … are physically on the stands but the whole world is there and through my i-phone I can share their support for Michael.

When my Russian friends arrive they have a new banner with … “Michael F1 is nothing without you”. They fix it while … I’m crying…. I don’t know why … I just wish to shout to Michael THANK YOU so loud to lose my voice forever.

While my tears go down my face I’ve an idea. I can call Globo TV that is filming on the track and I can record something dedicated to Michael to touch his heart as much as a bomb.

Free Practice three at eleven o’ clock stops my thoughts and my tears.

Button is the quickest, followed by Vettel, Webber, Hamilton. Alonso is 8^th, Michael is fifteenth.

At noon time a journalist by Veja approaches my friends and me to know more about our love for Michael. My Russian friends go first. Then I go and speak to him, I don’t even think at what I’m saying … I talk about a passion that has started in 1991 and still grows up more and more, I show some of the great quantity of pictures I’ve with me, I tell him I’ve even stopped working to follow Michael this months and … I ask him to call Globo TV …. He shares my idea, he calls them and … they arrive.

Now it’s only Michael (behind TV) and me (together with his fans all over the world that I’m representing).

I open remembering Michael’s “Life is about passions, thank you for sharing mine” and I say to Michael that we need to thank him for sharing his life with us, as in these 21 years he has been our life. I tell him that I speak in the name of his fans from Italy, Russia, Germany and Kerpen, Argentina, Hungaria , Chile, Brazil, facebook groups and I thank him with my heart in my hands … I’m looking for the video as I can’t remember what I’ve really said, I can just make you be sure my whole heart is in that video.

TV stops filming and I cry. The journalist tries to calm me and says well done, we’ll send it on soon.

But I’m crying because I wish more…..

I wish … the whole track to … blow up … shaping a big heart in the sky to thank Michael and to show him how strong is our love for him.

And it’s two o’ clock. Qualifying session ….

Q1 is ok, Michael goes through as Grosjean, Petrov, Kovaleinen, Glock, Pic, Kartikeyan, De La Rosa are out.

In Q2 it doesn’t work and Michael is out (14^th place) together with Di Resta, Senna, Perez, before him and Kobayashi, Ricardo, Vergne after him.

It’s Q3 … My heart isn’t thudding anymore … my brain is over. … my last qualifying session …

Hamilton gets the pole position, Vettel is 4^th, Alonso 8^th.

I ran away and a little bit later I know Maldonado has got a penalty so Michael will leave from 13^th.

Suddenly I feel excited again.

Now I know what to do to farewell Michael “in my way”.

I go next to the tickets seller and I buy a second ticket of B stand that is in front of the starting grid. From there I can shout to Michael during his last picture, his last parade … his last departure.

It’s useless to write I haven’t slept on Saturday night, I’ve simply watched my pictures, my videos, … thought of my 21 years following Michael all over the world … and at these three MAGIC years … at these last months during which I’ve spent most of my time following him even where the wheels have never rolled before.

I keep on praying to stop the time passing, but it keeps on passing unrelenting. Even If I don’t want … the sun rises … and … it’s the final countdown.

At 6:30 I leave my hotel. I arrive really early at the track, I’m alone in front of stand B (the other fans are in stands A and M), I’ve one of the banners of Friday with me and I’ve to fight as Michael as taught me to take it with me inside.

At the end, as a miracle, the security believes me. He allows that banner plus other two and he even helps me.

One of my banner is the one of Friday, the second says “Michael we love to see your races, your fight, your passion We will always support you”. The third “Michael these were wonderful three years. The car was fake but you never give up. That’s why we love you. You are the greatest racer of the world”

I manage to fix the three banners, to tweet to the team to tell that the whole track is full of banners for Michael.

I miss the pictures of the team with Michael in front of his garage, his jokes, his tears … I’m very sad for that … but I’ve missed it just because I wished to organize the farewell Michael deserves.

Now it’s 9:30, I’ve achieved my job and I turn on my I-phone. There’s an interview taken to Michael … I can’t believe he thanks us and says he’s really touched.

Now I feel I’ve done what I wished to and what he deserves.

At 12:30 it’s the drivers’ parade time..

The drivers appear. I’m just in front of Michael with my small banner “Never give up ..” shouting to him … he smiles … my heart … stops….

When the drivers’ parade is about to finish the truck stops suddenly, the drivers are about to fall one upon the other … I’ve Michael’s face in my camera’s zoom … he smiles … I take a picture … I really feel in heaven.

And we arrive too quick at 1:30 p.m. The cars are moving to the starting grid …. It’s going to rain … even the clouds agree with me and they want to farewell Michael crying as he deserves even their feeling.

At last my driver arrives … I can’t believe … I begin to cry again …, in his car there’s something new. On the right you can see “Thank you good bye Michael” and even more … he arrives showing a flag with thank you written on .

Dear Michael,

every little thing you do is magic, I’m really proud and proud to be your fan. Nobody is like you.

Michael stops his car at position 13^th, I’m just upon him, a few meters upon his face. I take a picture of him, one of him with the team, one of the flag.

Then he enters in the car for the last time, he closes his visor … a last picture.

Then I stop.

I move my banner “Never give up” upon his head and I simply try to fix his giving gas to his engine inside my heart FOREVER.

Wow … what a feeling his last departure … It’s hard to let you feel how I was feeling, under the rain, his engine in my heart, … just Michael and me … no pictures … no people .. no sadness … the whole world was out.

But such a feeling was to finish early. As in 2006 Michael has a puncture and he has to pit. He rejoins last and he begins his fight.

To be true I’ve to say he hasn’t been the only fighter of the race, as Vettel has had a problem with Senna at the first lap, he’s lost his radio power during the race and he’s had a problem with intermediate tires. Seb has moved to the back up to forward positions.

At lap 40 the best show of “my race”: a great fight between Michael and Kimi … how I love these moments … how today I miss them … Michael, how will you live without? What kind of experience will give to you and to us such adrenaline?

At the end Alonso goes over Massa for the second place, Sebastian goes over Michael for the sixth place and the race is over.

Button has won the Brazilian GP 2012 with Alonso and Massa on the podium.

Vettel has won his thrid world championship and even the DHL award for the fastest lap.

Michael Schumacher, seven titles, car number seven arrives seventh closing his career with a race I’ll never forget.

He gets out of his car, really covered by photographers, he congratulates with Sebastian Vettel and he runs quickly away towards his garage where “his team” is waiting for him.

Yes, in the happy moments as in the tough ones Michael has always tried to build up “HIS TEAM” . He has never said “I” or “me” to share a good result, only “we”, “the team”, “thank you guys” …. And “I” or “me” just to say it’s my fault.

He’s been as brave as a lion in coming back. Now Michael’s comeback is over …

He’s come back as he has believed in a project, he has always considered it “his project”, he’s tried to build up “his team”, “his car”.

What he has wished hasn’t happened, but what Michael has built WILL survive.

It’s Monday night now. I’m in my plane from Sao Paulo to Rome, It’s impossible for me to close my eyes without crying … so I’m trying to write my feelings before they fly away and to share them with my friends, living all over the world, the ones Michael’s allowed me to meet in these years.

I don’t know if I’ve been able to make you really feel what I’ve felt.

I can simply add that I’ve felt to be in a dream: my dream has started in 1991 and it hasn’t stopped yesterday …. My dream will go on and on as Michael’s example, his loyalty, his passion will live in each of us FOEREVER.

Thanks Michael, with you from the beginning to the end … as I’ve been able to, but, be sure with all the passion I’ve had, with all my heart and as promised …. keeping my tears inside my eyes as, I know, … I won’t lose you … you’re inside my heart forever

#DankeMichael

#Proudtobeaschumacherfan

Interlagos, November 26^th 2012

Rita Xiumè